I made what I thought was a great decision in 2007. It turned out to be a disaster. It left me with an apartment I couldn’t afford and in negative equity for over a decade. Just as I finally got back into the black, the cladding scandal hit. My building wasn’t fire-safe, remedial works were slated to take four years, and the flat became effectively unsaleable.

Sometimes, the decisions you are most proud of are the ones that end up shooting you in the foot. This is one of those.

So here I am, 19 years later, still trying to sell the bloody place. I’m hopeful 2026 is finally the year. In the meantime, we’ve been in a long-term rental for 12 years – because a one bed London flat isn’t exactly “family of four in Buckinghamshire” material. Now, we’ve made the big, grown-up decision to move to the seaside.

After a decade of turning this house into a home, we are packing boxes and, heaven help me, painting the walls magnolia. Each stroke over my multi-coloured pastel hues makes my jaw tighten. It’s not just because I loathe the colour (I do), it’s because it feels like a surrender. Part of me still carries the shame of being a woman my age who “only” rents. Painting over my personality is a stark reminder that this place was never truly mine, and that I haven’t succeeded in the way the traditional British blueprint demands.

I think it’s all too easy for any of us to compare ourselves to what others have – are we able to keep up? to compete? But the real question is, “Why do we feel like we need to?” When I was a teenager, I could never picture myself with a 9-5 job, wearing a suit and carrying a smart bag; And that’s not the person I grew up to be. Here I am, a proper grown-up, wearing the clothes that bring me the most joy, prioritising my family, and running businesses I love. It turns out, home ownership wasn’t at the top of my list – it was just on the list because I thought it should be.

Would it be nice to own? Absolutely. But I’ve realised I’m actually quite happy. We have a safe roof over our heads and hope in our hearts.

So, while I prep these beige walls to give the keys back to the landlord, I’m looking toward the coast. I’m ready for the next rental – the one I’ll make entirely my own, for however long I get to call it home.